Mothers with narcissistic personality disorder traits can negatively affect their children. For those who believe they were raised by a mother with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD), a better understanding of their relationship, and narcissism in general, can lead to healing and a more fulfilling life. Here are some tips to help you out!
The second step is to mourn the mother you never had but needed as a child. Give yourself space to grieve what you missed. As a child, you may be new to these feelings because you were so busy trying to keep your mother satisfied and alive. To continue, it is vital to give yourself room to feel what made you grow up with a narcissistic mother. It is also essential to give space to those feelings when you realize that your narcissistic mother will never give you what you unconsciously want. She can’t do that.
3) Take Care of Yourself and Invest in New Interests
The third step is clean work for you. Your mother never gave you what you needed and probably never will. Now, it is important to take care of yourself and give yourself what you need. For example, this may mean recognizing your feelings and setting limits. Your mother does not do everything for you. Give yourself what you expect and hope for from your mother.
You also need to be careful about learning new behaviors. Perhaps at home, for example, you have learned to please or hide your true self. These behaviors were probably possible to live with your mother and be as safe as possible at home. But now that you are in a safer environment, these old behaviors are no longer necessary. You are free to seek therapy to learn this, as it is tough to undo old patterns.
Breaking patterns is not easy, but it is certainly possible. Books containing suggestions and exercises for pattern therapy are beneficial in this regard.
4) Protect Yourself From Your Mother
Think carefully about whether you want to continue contact with your mother (now that you have seen and recognized her for what she really is) and, if so, how. It is imperative to set clear boundaries and maintain your position. A narcissistic mother will do anything to get you back into your original role and may use manipulative tactics to get you back to where she wants you to be. For example, a narcissistic mother may suddenly become very kind or act very helpless. This can make you feel guilty as a child and cause you to do exactly what your mother asks or tells you to do.
Be polite, not choosy. Narcissistic mothers have very low self-esteem that they feel deep down, so they will do anything to be admired and still get attention. If you don’t give it to them, they may forcefully pull you away. For this reason, it is crucial to develop an attitude of doing only what is in your best interest at all costs.
So if it’s a “no,” even if the narcissistic mother pulls out all the stops (and she probably can, like no one else can), stick with the “no.”
Have you ever dealt with a narcissistic parent? Share your tips with us in the comments below!