I Hate Myself: How Can I Cultivate Self-Love In My Life? (Part 1)
Just like self-care, self-love is one of those words that is widely used and is thus frequently misinterpreted. Frankly, self-love and self-care really go hand in hand. Taking care of yourself is actually an integral part of self-love, and you can’t be without yourself. It’s important to understand that self-love is more than just feeling good about yourself, feeling confident or taking care of yourself. Self-love is a deep respect for yourself. It means genuinely accepting yourself as you are and having compassion for yourself. How can you start cultivating more self-love in your life? Today I have some great tips for you relating to both your thoughts and actions that you can use to increase self-love in your life, starting today.
Know That You Are Worthy of Being Loved
Don’t rely on others to tell you that you are worthy of love or that you are worth anything at all. You are worth it, and you came to this earth to accomplish great things. You don’t have to change for anyone or anything. The only changes you need to make are what you think will benefit you – changes that have to do with your personal growth and development. You are worthy just as you are, just as you are. I think the following quote says it best. You don’t have to rely on others to achieve your happiness and self-confidence. Only you can be responsible for that. If you can’t love and respect yourself, no one else will be able to either. So, accept who you are – fully; the good and the bad – and make the changes you see fit, not because others want you to be different…
Stop Comparing Yourself to Others
The “comparison trap” is the biggest culprit for self-love (and self-esteem), and unfortunately, it’s very easy to fall into it nowadays, thanks to the ubiquity of social media. We are constantly looking at what other people are showing about their lives on social media, but in reality, they are only showing the best parts of their lives. People usually only share the highlights of their lives, not the problems. And the people we compare ourselves to seem to have it all good – the dream life. It’s good to look up to or admire others, but if we compare ourselves to them and diminish ourselves, as a result, it’s toxic. Instead, focus on being more present in your own life and not so much on others. Create your own beauty in your life, and know that YOU are beautiful too!
Tip: Turn off social media that makes you depressed or makes you think negatively about yourself. Accounts that you’re constantly comparing yourself to (e.g., accounts for fashion brands with very unrealistic beauty standards when they post pictures [because they are often photoshopped]). Instead, try only to follow pages that add value, positivity or inspiration to your life.
Have Fun All by Yourself
When was the last time you had real fun? When you last allowed yourself to do something fun. As young children, it’s essential for us to just “have fun”, and we can do almost anything to do that. Children can do anything that makes them happy, and they are so carefree that they quickly get “fun”. Then we grow up, and “adulthood” begins, which means that fun comes last on the list of priorities. So do yourself a favour and have fun. That means a few hours of video games, a favourite sport, movies with a friend, swimming and more… Just do it, honey! And what does this have to do with loving yourself? Simply because you love yourself enough to allow yourself to have fun and enjoy life to the fullest.
Need more tips on how to create and maintain self-care habits? Check out these self-care checklists and health cards that you can print out to help you feel better! They’re fun and make it easy to keep track of how you’re taking care of yourself. They also have ideas for self-care activities you can try in each of these areas, so give them a try! In part two of this chapter, you’ll find more tips on how to love yourself even more – stay tuned!